Viva Las Vegas Baby!

Did you hear the news over the weekend? I'm sure everyone did by now... Probably some obscure russian outpost didnt hear it tho...

Alexi: Ваш, что человек(мужчина), который женил�� к �тому �импатичные четырнадцать лет!

Translation: Hey I know you...your that dude who got married to that drop dead gorgeous fourteen year old girl this weekend!

Guess even poor Alexi from antarctica heard... oh well.
Apparently leaving school with your girlfriend friday then mysteriously dissapearing till the wee hours of the morning, (whys everone know that?! nothing happened except I got sick on stuffed crust pizza... that was before the china food got me sick 2 days later haha!) then being sick on monday (we were both sick that day)
That constitutes eloping, and getting hitched. Oh well guess when we leave together this friday she'll be pregnat... oh wait I guess another rumor said we married cause she already was.. HAHA what messed up people we have to put up with day in and day out! Next who knows tammy and I are actually spys from mars who implanted on earth to learn your twisted ways, then use our powers of rumor to spread gossip that everyone at hamlin highschool is infected with crabs! Creating a wide spread breakdown of midwest society, and panic everywhere. Without your Whole Grain ceral you shall all succumb to malnutrition and be taken over by vegatarians and sacraficed to the cow gods for food! HAHA WE shall rule your puny rock and infest it with the mushrooms from the dragon wall, and trap you in cleverly built cages of chop sticks! Now to my evil labratory to watch the hamster spin in its wheel! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!