Viva Las Vegas Baby!
Did you hear the news over the weekend? I'm sure everyone did by now... Probably some obscure russian outpost didnt hear it tho...
Alexi: Ваш, что человек(мужчина), который женил�� к �тому �импатичные четырнадцать лет!
Translation: Hey I know you...your that dude who got married to that drop dead gorgeous fourteen year old girl this weekend!
Guess even poor Alexi from antarctica heard... oh well.
Apparently leaving school with your girlfriend friday then mysteriously dissapearing till the wee hours of the morning, (whys everone know that?! nothing happened except I got sick on stuffed crust pizza... that was before the china food got me sick 2 days later haha!) then being sick on monday (we were both sick that day)
That constitutes eloping, and getting hitched. Oh well guess when we leave together this friday she'll be pregnat... oh wait I guess another rumor said we married cause she already was.. HAHA what messed up people we have to put up with day in and day out! Next who knows tammy and I are actually spys from mars who implanted on earth to learn your twisted ways, then use our powers of rumor to spread gossip that everyone at hamlin highschool is infected with crabs! Creating a wide spread breakdown of midwest society, and panic everywhere. Without your Whole Grain ceral you shall all succumb to malnutrition and be taken over by vegatarians and sacraficed to the cow gods for food! HAHA WE shall rule your puny rock and infest it with the mushrooms from the dragon wall, and trap you in cleverly built cages of chop sticks! Now to my evil labratory to watch the hamster spin in its wheel! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
1/27/2004
1/26/2004
The Logic of Hamlin High School
HAHA! Finally got to this post. Anyway It seems to me schools have no logic. Do they even think about what they do? For instance...
Teacher: "Gee class lets read a book!"
Class: "Groaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!"
Teacher: "Oh hush. This is a classic you will all love it! Its called "All quiet on the Western front."
Boy 1: "Isn't that the book where it takes 30 pages for the author to tell everyone their food sucks?... I would rather watch the lint in the air fly around for six hours!"
This is just one example. They hardly ever have interesting books that kids would actually enjoy reading. I used to hate reading because I thought all books were as ridiculous as the ones we read in school. No wonder people are revolted by books. Then I stumbled upon a book in a used bookstore with a dragon on it (mom always liked to read so we went there alot). It was called "The Gates of Thorabardin." A fantasy book yes. It was the best thing ever though. Ever since I read books constantly. Therefore, instead of making kids want to read they turn them away from books, and I only started to read on accident. I didn't know books were cool.
Next... the food rule. No pop or candy. Why pray tell? Can't 16 and 17 year olds figure out how to chew? We had food in school before and it didn't hurt anybody so what’s the problem? If anything, we should ban the school food! Is it healthy to eat things from 5 years ago? Or mysteriously have beans in different forms three days in a row? Their food tastes like flavored cardboard... or in some cases noodles with cheese colored water? Riiiiiiiight! Did I mention the cottage cheese is usually rotten 90% of the time? Or the fruits and vegetables that are obviously to old because they are mushy! How repulsive! Some of us may act like barbarians, but we don't need to be fed our
neighbors dogs! Close enough to it! Disgusting.
Also where are the high school privileges?! Not to mention the senior ones? Lets see, the previous classes with Mr. Cambel got their privileges when they did community service and signed a contract. The piece of paper didn’t strangely vanish either. Sneider you FAG. Course even if we had privileges what would we do? We don’t have a lounge. Before they had a room of their own, with couches, chairs, video games, TV, VCR, etc. Sure some of his brown nosers favorites may have theirs, but even they had to wait for half the year to even leave, but where would they go? The only thing seniors can do is budge the little kids in line. Why so we can get food poisoning sooner haha sweet!
Another thing just about school in general is that it is to long. I am sure we could delete an entire period, and shorten all periods to 30 minutes. Mostly we tend to get the gist of what the teacher means in less then 15 minutes (unless it is Mr. Aho’s class) Plus delete advisory, because that’s just like your average kindergarten class, and we all graduated that with flying colors probably around a decade ago ok thank you very much.
Another wonderful idea we have is planners. Your portable ball and chain wow! Filled with pointless junk. Yes I think it’s perhaps a good idea, but ONLY for the kids who want to write down their homework. The ones who don’t want to won’t. No one checks them. Also no one checks if we have a pass ever… so what’s the point? Just another piece of crap to carry.
One more things… the people rules are designed to protect will follow them, and the ones the rules are designed to stop will find a way around them… Point being?
Maybe Sneider just hates everyone so he wants to treat us like lower life forms for his sadistic pleasure. I am not mad… I just feel like DUH! What psychosis some of these “learned� people have. I am sure someone could find a brain and try to use it and design a place that you can learn, and actually have FUN doing it. They may advertise that, and maybe the teachers have fun, but the kids don’t have fun doing things that are so dry a camel wouldn’t even venture near! HAHA I’m otta here.
HAHA! Finally got to this post. Anyway It seems to me schools have no logic. Do they even think about what they do? For instance...
Teacher: "Gee class lets read a book!"
Class: "Groaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!"
Teacher: "Oh hush. This is a classic you will all love it! Its called "All quiet on the Western front."
Boy 1: "Isn't that the book where it takes 30 pages for the author to tell everyone their food sucks?... I would rather watch the lint in the air fly around for six hours!"
This is just one example. They hardly ever have interesting books that kids would actually enjoy reading. I used to hate reading because I thought all books were as ridiculous as the ones we read in school. No wonder people are revolted by books. Then I stumbled upon a book in a used bookstore with a dragon on it (mom always liked to read so we went there alot). It was called "The Gates of Thorabardin." A fantasy book yes. It was the best thing ever though. Ever since I read books constantly. Therefore, instead of making kids want to read they turn them away from books, and I only started to read on accident. I didn't know books were cool.
Next... the food rule. No pop or candy. Why pray tell? Can't 16 and 17 year olds figure out how to chew? We had food in school before and it didn't hurt anybody so what’s the problem? If anything, we should ban the school food! Is it healthy to eat things from 5 years ago? Or mysteriously have beans in different forms three days in a row? Their food tastes like flavored cardboard... or in some cases noodles with cheese colored water? Riiiiiiiight! Did I mention the cottage cheese is usually rotten 90% of the time? Or the fruits and vegetables that are obviously to old because they are mushy! How repulsive! Some of us may act like barbarians, but we don't need to be fed our
neighbors dogs! Close enough to it! Disgusting.
Also where are the high school privileges?! Not to mention the senior ones? Lets see, the previous classes with Mr. Cambel got their privileges when they did community service and signed a contract. The piece of paper didn’t strangely vanish either. Sneider you FAG. Course even if we had privileges what would we do? We don’t have a lounge. Before they had a room of their own, with couches, chairs, video games, TV, VCR, etc. Sure some of his brown nosers favorites may have theirs, but even they had to wait for half the year to even leave, but where would they go? The only thing seniors can do is budge the little kids in line. Why so we can get food poisoning sooner haha sweet!
Another thing just about school in general is that it is to long. I am sure we could delete an entire period, and shorten all periods to 30 minutes. Mostly we tend to get the gist of what the teacher means in less then 15 minutes (unless it is Mr. Aho’s class) Plus delete advisory, because that’s just like your average kindergarten class, and we all graduated that with flying colors probably around a decade ago ok thank you very much.
Another wonderful idea we have is planners. Your portable ball and chain wow! Filled with pointless junk. Yes I think it’s perhaps a good idea, but ONLY for the kids who want to write down their homework. The ones who don’t want to won’t. No one checks them. Also no one checks if we have a pass ever… so what’s the point? Just another piece of crap to carry.
One more things… the people rules are designed to protect will follow them, and the ones the rules are designed to stop will find a way around them… Point being?
Maybe Sneider just hates everyone so he wants to treat us like lower life forms for his sadistic pleasure. I am not mad… I just feel like DUH! What psychosis some of these “learned� people have. I am sure someone could find a brain and try to use it and design a place that you can learn, and actually have FUN doing it. They may advertise that, and maybe the teachers have fun, but the kids don’t have fun doing things that are so dry a camel wouldn’t even venture near! HAHA I’m otta here.
1/20/2004
Genius Ad for Car Place
I heard an add on the radio, wasn't listening to much so don't know the name or the company really, but its a car place and maybe sells tires, but anyway their slogan is
"Saddest Traction gaurenteed"
Sure they wanted to say satistraction... but really what a dumb ad isn't the purpose of advertising to make people buy your product? So if you have the saddest store in town wouldn't that be negative? Therefore people don like you? Shoo people maybe we don't want ur buisness you just keep us from walking the streets in attire thats less then socially acceptable!(No Squirrel not right now... maybe later ;-)... Who needs clothes in weather like this! Wait a minute where did that weird white crap on the ground come from! Ahh its freezing me nude flesh into a fleshicle? Ill be quiet now... HEHE!~~ LAFF~~~!
I heard an add on the radio, wasn't listening to much so don't know the name or the company really, but its a car place and maybe sells tires, but anyway their slogan is
"Saddest Traction gaurenteed"
Sure they wanted to say satistraction... but really what a dumb ad isn't the purpose of advertising to make people buy your product? So if you have the saddest store in town wouldn't that be negative? Therefore people don like you? Shoo people maybe we don't want ur buisness you just keep us from walking the streets in attire thats less then socially acceptable!(No Squirrel not right now... maybe later ;-)... Who needs clothes in weather like this! Wait a minute where did that weird white crap on the ground come from! Ahh its freezing me nude flesh into a fleshicle? Ill be quiet now... HEHE!~~ LAFF~~~!
1/19/2004
1/13/2004
"Quotes: My substitute for wit!"
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)
"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
"I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth."
- Umberto Eco
"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life."
- Frank Zappa
"It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts."
- G. B. Burgin
"A witty saying proves nothing."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)
"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough."
- Mario Andretti
"I'll sleep when I'm dead."
- Warren Zevon (1947-2003)
"While we are postponing, life speeds by."
- Seneca (3BC - 65AD)
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."
- Mel Brooks
In the end, everything is a gag."
- Charlie Chaplin (1889-1977)
"Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you."
- Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961)
"The gods too are fond of a joke."
- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)
"Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting."
- Karl Wallenda
"Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them."
- Samuel Palmer (1805-80)
That wraps it up, and yepers I am a fool, but a happy one so bite me heheheheh!
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)
"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
"I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth."
- Umberto Eco
"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life."
- Frank Zappa
"It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts."
- G. B. Burgin
"A witty saying proves nothing."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)
"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough."
- Mario Andretti
"I'll sleep when I'm dead."
- Warren Zevon (1947-2003)
"While we are postponing, life speeds by."
- Seneca (3BC - 65AD)
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."
- Mel Brooks
In the end, everything is a gag."
- Charlie Chaplin (1889-1977)
"Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you."
- Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961)
"The gods too are fond of a joke."
- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)
"Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting."
- Karl Wallenda
"Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them."
- Samuel Palmer (1805-80)
That wraps it up, and yepers I am a fool, but a happy one so bite me heheheheh!
Imagination is more important than knowledge...-Albert Einstein
HAHA Wahooo... hehe after reading my website about the fairy tale, and the aunt storys my bro the hamster said he was going to rip off my balls roast them, and feed them to me. He actually cracked a smile tho afew times at my insanely retarded nethers of my expressing brain. Mostly though he looks like a stony faced... Mountain? BTW he has a hamster running on a hamster wheel in his head and it poops out his nose, and that my son is where boogers come from. HEHE Im sick, but andy made me think that hehe. Later Peeps.
~This is flying sheep over and out!
HAHA Wahooo... hehe after reading my website about the fairy tale, and the aunt storys my bro the hamster said he was going to rip off my balls roast them, and feed them to me. He actually cracked a smile tho afew times at my insanely retarded nethers of my expressing brain. Mostly though he looks like a stony faced... Mountain? BTW he has a hamster running on a hamster wheel in his head and it poops out his nose, and that my son is where boogers come from. HEHE Im sick, but andy made me think that hehe. Later Peeps.
~This is flying sheep over and out!
F*cked up Fairy Tale?
Once upon a time (shut yer pie hole piggy boy thats a great intro ok not, your still gonna shut up tho) there was an extremely handsome young prince named Dartanion. (three muskateers giggle giggle no Tammy not the CHOCOLATE bar what ARE you thinkin =) He was the kings favorite son, so one day the king called him into his court.
Dartanion: “Yes your Majesty?�
King: “Please call me Father… my son
Dartanion: “Ok Your Maj… Father� (seen that a thousand times)
King: “Please sit down.�
Dartanion: “I don’t understand what is this�-
King: “You were always my favorite son�.
Dartanion: “Dude I’m your only son!�
King: “F*ck You!�
Dartanion:�Suck my WHAT?!�
King: “BALLS! YOU DIRTY LITTLE…� (oops ill keep it rated G… yeah right)
King: “Sorry I got carried away there.�
Dartanion: “Go on…� although he thought: you retard
King: “As I was saying theres a big friggin dragon outside, and I just soiled myself therefore go kill it.� Hope it slobbers acid on your face. he thinks to himself
Dartanion: You kill it. You lazy fat little bug.
King: “I aint little!�
Dartanion: “Lola says different..� HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE
King: “Whos Lola?�
Dartanion: “My donkey.� Snicker snicker… followed by Dartanion falling off his chair and rolling around laughing like a fish outta water…
This went on for about 2 hours more, and then both of them fell asleep
*Raucous cheering from the inane puppets in the castle*
They apologized, got mad at each other again traded insults some more, then finally Dartanion agreed to kill the dragon if he got a the fair maiden
Selina’s…………………………..
Solid gold toilet seat. (HAHA you thought I was gonna say hand in marriage… I told you this is a F-ed up fairy tale!)
The noble Dartanion ventures forth into the lair of the dragon, and says:
“Ho there vile beast I shall slayeth thy hide, and use your teath for my earings!
Dragon: What are you gay or something?!
Dartanion: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Dragon: Whatever
Dartanion: I am not I swear. Look here is a picture of my future wife Selina!
Dragon: That’s a crapper seat!
Dartanion: Son of a Nut Cracker!
Dragon: Problems?
Dartanion: No I just have a lot of stuff in here…
Dragon:… Is that a purse?
Dartanion: WTF it’s a man bag!!!! All the rage you know.
Dragon: Cough Gay Cough.
Dartanion: Suck my what?!
Dragon: AND THERE IT IS YOUR GAY! HOMOOOOOOO
Dartanion: I DIDN’T MEAN THAT! IT’S A JEST YOU PERVERT IGUANA MONSTER!
Dragon: And I like eating burning plastic!
Dartanion: HUH?
Dragon: Never mind.
Dartanion: Oh here it is OOPS…. OH SH*T!
DRAGON: Who is that? Looks more like Mr. Sneider to me. Haha that’s a guy(sort of)… you are gay dirty pervert.
Dartanion: That’s my brother! I swear.
Dragon: Dude you don’t have any kin, except daddy dearest you little spoiled pervert gay brat!
Dartanion: Fine I admit it I am queer as a 3 dollar bill, and Mr. Sneider is my Bitch! So what?! Enough talk its time to kill you bloody dragon.
The evil dragon blows fire at the helpless Dartanion who immediately raises his shield that is constructed of the impenetrable Mithril steel. The fire reflects off the shield, and is in a direct course for the dragon. In a flash the dragon ducks, and the fire soars past in a blaze of fiery glory. Just then Mr. Sneider in a femmy black tank top, and purple shorts with bananas on them (DO NOT ASK IF YOU VALUE YOUR SANITY I BEG OF THEE DON’T ASK FORGET ABOUT SNEIDER’S BANNANAS!!!!) with sandals comes hoppin in swinging both arms left and right while skipping gay gesture all around that are disgustingly wrong when applied to Gay-Sneido and enters the cave. And gets fried totally burnt to a LESS-THEN-NORMAL revolting blob of semi-nuclear radioactive sh*t-crap.
*Raucous cheering from the inane puppets in the castle*
Just then Michael Jackson walks in. Gay giggle escapes while he mirrors the previous moves of his Luvie Duvie PrinciPAL.
Michael: “Hey Snidy poo. Is the cave empty, lets get down to buisn…�
Dragon: Who in the name of fuzzy lumpkins man dinga are you… Sneiders Dumpling apparently hahahah!
Dartanion: Mr. Sneider was cheating on me with YOU!
Michael: He is mine you skank!
Dragon: Your both skanks and you need to die!
The dragon burns both tards to cinders, and eats all three of them… just then he remembers what he ate starts to vomit, and dies…
*Insane cheering from the inane puppets in the castle*
And the king lives happily ever after, and marries Lola(the donkey)… Come on it’s a fairy tale some ones gotta get married!
*Insane cheering from the inane puppets in the castle*
And That’s why I am not allowed back into Disney Land!
Once upon a time (shut yer pie hole piggy boy thats a great intro ok not, your still gonna shut up tho) there was an extremely handsome young prince named Dartanion. (three muskateers giggle giggle no Tammy not the CHOCOLATE bar what ARE you thinkin =) He was the kings favorite son, so one day the king called him into his court.
Dartanion: “Yes your Majesty?�
King: “Please call me Father… my son
Dartanion: “Ok Your Maj… Father� (seen that a thousand times)
King: “Please sit down.�
Dartanion: “I don’t understand what is this�-
King: “You were always my favorite son�.
Dartanion: “Dude I’m your only son!�
King: “F*ck You!�
Dartanion:�Suck my WHAT?!�
King: “BALLS! YOU DIRTY LITTLE…� (oops ill keep it rated G… yeah right)
King: “Sorry I got carried away there.�
Dartanion: “Go on…� although he thought: you retard
King: “As I was saying theres a big friggin dragon outside, and I just soiled myself therefore go kill it.� Hope it slobbers acid on your face. he thinks to himself
Dartanion: You kill it. You lazy fat little bug.
King: “I aint little!�
Dartanion: “Lola says different..� HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE
King: “Whos Lola?�
Dartanion: “My donkey.� Snicker snicker… followed by Dartanion falling off his chair and rolling around laughing like a fish outta water…
This went on for about 2 hours more, and then both of them fell asleep
*Raucous cheering from the inane puppets in the castle*
They apologized, got mad at each other again traded insults some more, then finally Dartanion agreed to kill the dragon if he got a the fair maiden
Selina’s…………………………..
Solid gold toilet seat. (HAHA you thought I was gonna say hand in marriage… I told you this is a F-ed up fairy tale!)
The noble Dartanion ventures forth into the lair of the dragon, and says:
“Ho there vile beast I shall slayeth thy hide, and use your teath for my earings!
Dragon: What are you gay or something?!
Dartanion: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Dragon: Whatever
Dartanion: I am not I swear. Look here is a picture of my future wife Selina!
Dragon: That’s a crapper seat!
Dartanion: Son of a Nut Cracker!
Dragon: Problems?
Dartanion: No I just have a lot of stuff in here…
Dragon:… Is that a purse?
Dartanion: WTF it’s a man bag!!!! All the rage you know.
Dragon: Cough Gay Cough.
Dartanion: Suck my what?!
Dragon: AND THERE IT IS YOUR GAY! HOMOOOOOOO
Dartanion: I DIDN’T MEAN THAT! IT’S A JEST YOU PERVERT IGUANA MONSTER!
Dragon: And I like eating burning plastic!
Dartanion: HUH?
Dragon: Never mind.
Dartanion: Oh here it is OOPS…. OH SH*T!
DRAGON: Who is that? Looks more like Mr. Sneider to me. Haha that’s a guy(sort of)… you are gay dirty pervert.
Dartanion: That’s my brother! I swear.
Dragon: Dude you don’t have any kin, except daddy dearest you little spoiled pervert gay brat!
Dartanion: Fine I admit it I am queer as a 3 dollar bill, and Mr. Sneider is my Bitch! So what?! Enough talk its time to kill you bloody dragon.
The evil dragon blows fire at the helpless Dartanion who immediately raises his shield that is constructed of the impenetrable Mithril steel. The fire reflects off the shield, and is in a direct course for the dragon. In a flash the dragon ducks, and the fire soars past in a blaze of fiery glory. Just then Mr. Sneider in a femmy black tank top, and purple shorts with bananas on them (DO NOT ASK IF YOU VALUE YOUR SANITY I BEG OF THEE DON’T ASK FORGET ABOUT SNEIDER’S BANNANAS!!!!) with sandals comes hoppin in swinging both arms left and right while skipping gay gesture all around that are disgustingly wrong when applied to Gay-Sneido and enters the cave. And gets fried totally burnt to a LESS-THEN-NORMAL revolting blob of semi-nuclear radioactive sh*t-crap.
*Raucous cheering from the inane puppets in the castle*
Just then Michael Jackson walks in. Gay giggle escapes while he mirrors the previous moves of his Luvie Duvie PrinciPAL.
Michael: “Hey Snidy poo. Is the cave empty, lets get down to buisn…�
Dragon: Who in the name of fuzzy lumpkins man dinga are you… Sneiders Dumpling apparently hahahah!
Dartanion: Mr. Sneider was cheating on me with YOU!
Michael: He is mine you skank!
Dragon: Your both skanks and you need to die!
The dragon burns both tards to cinders, and eats all three of them… just then he remembers what he ate starts to vomit, and dies…
*Insane cheering from the inane puppets in the castle*
And the king lives happily ever after, and marries Lola(the donkey)… Come on it’s a fairy tale some ones gotta get married!
*Insane cheering from the inane puppets in the castle*
And That’s why I am not allowed back into Disney Land!
Random Things My Aunt Said
Me: "Why are life savers called life savers?"
Aunt: "Because someone was lost and starving and he found some in his pocket and ate them, and it saved his life till help came."
Upon hearing that I took it as gospel but now I just figured out: I DOUBT IT! I mean serious what did they call them? The nothing candy? Good seller there...
There is a round barn in watertown, and my aunt told me a story about it. There was this guy in there, and he wanted to die, he couldn't find a corner so he wandered around in circles till he fell over from exhaustion, and fell and died in the middle.
So what is the point of this? Well I am getting to that see this all ties into the theory I have about humanity. Every oneseems to act like well you know......... OK YOUR RIGHT I HAVE NOTHING THIS IS JUST A BUNCH OF BS, HAHA YOU READ IT THOUGH, AND WASTED MULTIPLE SECONDS OF YOUR LIFE On NOTHING HAHAHHAHHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! They say time is money, and therefore I stold your time, and money, therefore robbed you, and you willing handed me money hahha! Wait I don't have any money. That means you owe me five dollars you better learn to pay up your debts on time for peats sake! Okie dokie I am done now. Oh look perty people dressed all in white outside with a van! Gee lets go meat them they look friendly in their white gloves, and dart guns! Oh wait those arent dart guns! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lol wrote all this crap by getting inspired by the word "save". I need help hehe. Later dumbs. Guess what...... Wasted more of your time HAHA. Didn't know it did ya. Thats 10 bucks!!! BTW THE FERRETS LET ME IN! MUAHAHAHHAHA... TO WHERE? YOUR BRAIN! EHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~
Me: "Why are life savers called life savers?"
Aunt: "Because someone was lost and starving and he found some in his pocket and ate them, and it saved his life till help came."
Upon hearing that I took it as gospel but now I just figured out: I DOUBT IT! I mean serious what did they call them? The nothing candy? Good seller there...
There is a round barn in watertown, and my aunt told me a story about it. There was this guy in there, and he wanted to die, he couldn't find a corner so he wandered around in circles till he fell over from exhaustion, and fell and died in the middle.
So what is the point of this? Well I am getting to that see this all ties into the theory I have about humanity. Every oneseems to act like well you know......... OK YOUR RIGHT I HAVE NOTHING THIS IS JUST A BUNCH OF BS, HAHA YOU READ IT THOUGH, AND WASTED MULTIPLE SECONDS OF YOUR LIFE On NOTHING HAHAHHAHHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! They say time is money, and therefore I stold your time, and money, therefore robbed you, and you willing handed me money hahha! Wait I don't have any money. That means you owe me five dollars you better learn to pay up your debts on time for peats sake! Okie dokie I am done now. Oh look perty people dressed all in white outside with a van! Gee lets go meat them they look friendly in their white gloves, and dart guns! Oh wait those arent dart guns! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lol wrote all this crap by getting inspired by the word "save". I need help hehe. Later dumbs. Guess what...... Wasted more of your time HAHA. Didn't know it did ya. Thats 10 bucks!!! BTW THE FERRETS LET ME IN! MUAHAHAHHAHA... TO WHERE? YOUR BRAIN! EHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~
1/12/2004
Dirty Dictionary
This is a dictionary of dirty names, and nicknames our little group of friends have at school. I will not define the nasty things for you sorry. You can imagine all you want.
Tylerisms
1. Toast
2. Peanut Butter
3. Chocolate
4. Ducks
5. Quack
6. Quackers
7. Kitty
8. Turtle
9. Dragon
10. Spider Bite
11. Blueberry
12. Dumb
13. Interacting
14. Mammals
15. Fog
16. Ice Cream
17. Present
18. Egg Roll
19. Shhheew
20. Mountains
21. Relieving Tension*
Nicknames
1. Pickle Missile- Tammy’s Truck
2. Pickle Missile Pilot- Tammy
3. Squirrel- Tammy
4. Suga Buns- Tammy
5. Vixen- Tammy
6. French Chick- Tammy
7. Spider– Tammy (mom gave her this one jockingly guess why hehe sorry to embaress you squirrel I know I did 2)
8. Vampire- Tammy (same as spider)
9. Spaz- Tammy
10. Squirrels Nut House- Tammy’s website
11. Tomato- My Car
12. Sheep- Me
13. Kitty- Darci
14. Dorie- Darci
15. Kitty’s Litter Box- Darcis website
16. Sticky Buns- My cousin Jessie
17. Toucan Pam- Pam
18. Hamster- Andy
19. Goat Boy- (Roy/Terry?)
20. Squishy- Terry
21. Tonto- Terry
22. Monkey- Nicole
23. Brother Bear- Sickeningly Mushy Luvie Duvie Conversations
*=new
I know there is more, but thats all I can remember now. Ill probably be updating this as soon as squirrel tells me more dirty stuff. HEHE. CEEEEEE YAAAAAAAAAA!~~~~~
This is a dictionary of dirty names, and nicknames our little group of friends have at school. I will not define the nasty things for you sorry. You can imagine all you want.
Tylerisms
1. Toast
2. Peanut Butter
3. Chocolate
4. Ducks
5. Quack
6. Quackers
7. Kitty
8. Turtle
9. Dragon
10. Spider Bite
11. Blueberry
12. Dumb
13. Interacting
14. Mammals
15. Fog
16. Ice Cream
17. Present
18. Egg Roll
19. Shhheew
20. Mountains
21. Relieving Tension*
Nicknames
1. Pickle Missile- Tammy’s Truck
2. Pickle Missile Pilot- Tammy
3. Squirrel- Tammy
4. Suga Buns- Tammy
5. Vixen- Tammy
6. French Chick- Tammy
7. Spider– Tammy (mom gave her this one jockingly guess why hehe sorry to embaress you squirrel I know I did 2)
8. Vampire- Tammy (same as spider)
9. Spaz- Tammy
10. Squirrels Nut House- Tammy’s website
11. Tomato- My Car
12. Sheep- Me
13. Kitty- Darci
14. Dorie- Darci
15. Kitty’s Litter Box- Darcis website
16. Sticky Buns- My cousin Jessie
17. Toucan Pam- Pam
18. Hamster- Andy
19. Goat Boy- (Roy/Terry?)
20. Squishy- Terry
21. Tonto- Terry
22. Monkey- Nicole
23. Brother Bear- Sickeningly Mushy Luvie Duvie Conversations
*=new
I know there is more, but thats all I can remember now. Ill probably be updating this as soon as squirrel tells me more dirty stuff. HEHE. CEEEEEE YAAAAAAAAAA!~~~~~
Wanting what you Can't have
I wrote this poem a while ago, and thought it was quite good, but ya. so here goes:
I sit here forever alone
comtemplating my cruel fate
destined to live a solitary life
forever seeking that which I can't have
My desire is so close
torturing me the most
near enough to touch
yet I can't have what I want so much
I knock on you door
but am denied entrance
my soul just seeks shelter
so it can be complete
Oh woe am I
if only I was him
then perhaps you'd let me in
and my heart would sing again
I didn't write this about squirrel unfortunately, but I remembered this poem when I was thinking of her, and thought it was quite fitting, at least for a while, lets just say my soul is singing like a crazy plump opera chick hehe. I hope you don't mind me saying that on my site squirrel.
I wrote this poem a while ago, and thought it was quite good, but ya. so here goes:
I sit here forever alone
comtemplating my cruel fate
destined to live a solitary life
forever seeking that which I can't have
My desire is so close
torturing me the most
near enough to touch
yet I can't have what I want so much
I knock on you door
but am denied entrance
my soul just seeks shelter
so it can be complete
Oh woe am I
if only I was him
then perhaps you'd let me in
and my heart would sing again
I didn't write this about squirrel unfortunately, but I remembered this poem when I was thinking of her, and thought it was quite fitting, at least for a while, lets just say my soul is singing like a crazy plump opera chick hehe. I hope you don't mind me saying that on my site squirrel.
1/06/2004
The Climate Channel (USA 2)
Greetings fair folk of the free world, this is B.A.R.N. (USA 2) Your alternative channel for the Barnyard News. Our sister station B.A.R.N has greatly accepted our merger, and partnership in the newscasting world (they just don't know it yet hehehehehehehehehehe)
For the tonights forecast we have simmering sub zero temperatures, that will get even colder tomorrow. -75*F (with the windchill you can freeze liquid hot magma) Can you say animalcicle-cicleikyles? Me neither. Expect a great warming trend for thursday. We shall warm to a smoldering 1 above, bust out your shorts and airconditioners it will be sweltering! Breaking our record high for January 8th of -58* F. By 59 degress! Wow! (or is it 60? How should I know I am a weather man!)
In agricultural news we have a warning for pre-interacting sheep out there. Avoid all squirells, Kittys, Bunnies, and hamsters till warmer tempuratures, because apparently this weather affects their mind and makes them think of multiple mates so therefore they try to turn all hot males gay in order to sate their incredible hunger for man flesh.... If you site one be sure not to turn around or bend over in their presence. What did you think they only pulled your hair, and yelled obsenitys about you being gay? Run for your life!!!!!!!!!!!
Tune in later for further updates. This is B.A.R.N. (USA 2) Your alternative channel for the Barnyard News.
This is Sheep... Signing off~
-
Greetings fair folk of the free world, this is B.A.R.N. (USA 2) Your alternative channel for the Barnyard News. Our sister station B.A.R.N has greatly accepted our merger, and partnership in the newscasting world (they just don't know it yet hehehehehehehehehehe)
For the tonights forecast we have simmering sub zero temperatures, that will get even colder tomorrow. -75*F (with the windchill you can freeze liquid hot magma) Can you say animalcicle-cicleikyles? Me neither. Expect a great warming trend for thursday. We shall warm to a smoldering 1 above, bust out your shorts and airconditioners it will be sweltering! Breaking our record high for January 8th of -58* F. By 59 degress! Wow! (or is it 60? How should I know I am a weather man!)
In agricultural news we have a warning for pre-interacting sheep out there. Avoid all squirells, Kittys, Bunnies, and hamsters till warmer tempuratures, because apparently this weather affects their mind and makes them think of multiple mates so therefore they try to turn all hot males gay in order to sate their incredible hunger for man flesh.... If you site one be sure not to turn around or bend over in their presence. What did you think they only pulled your hair, and yelled obsenitys about you being gay? Run for your life!!!!!!!!!!!
Tune in later for further updates. This is B.A.R.N. (USA 2) Your alternative channel for the Barnyard News.
This is Sheep... Signing off~
-
Girly Summer Poem
I got a half backed attemp at a poem here. It sounds stupid, but oh well.
In the blissfull summer warmth
the buzz of a lazy bee going to and fro
the melody of a thousand song birds in the air
trees thrusting long green fingers toward the heavens in a lush canopy of life
the rythmic swaying of a million tiny emerald blades
in a far reaching field of green
the crisp surprise of cool water rushing in upon your head
chattering kids playing tag outside till dusk settles upon their carefree world
this is summer the most glorius of all seasons
a thriving hour where mother nature reveals her great splendor
i love summer greates of all seasons
oh how i long to be warm and free once again
I had this written on a piece of paper I wrote it really fast at school in pen. So yes it was messy. So my mom goes to read it, and gets some odd notion its about a fairy guy in suspenders with a lazy eye... okie dokie. Don't ask me. CRAZY PEOPLE! HEHE.
I got a half backed attemp at a poem here. It sounds stupid, but oh well.
In the blissfull summer warmth
the buzz of a lazy bee going to and fro
the melody of a thousand song birds in the air
trees thrusting long green fingers toward the heavens in a lush canopy of life
the rythmic swaying of a million tiny emerald blades
in a far reaching field of green
the crisp surprise of cool water rushing in upon your head
chattering kids playing tag outside till dusk settles upon their carefree world
this is summer the most glorius of all seasons
a thriving hour where mother nature reveals her great splendor
i love summer greates of all seasons
oh how i long to be warm and free once again
I had this written on a piece of paper I wrote it really fast at school in pen. So yes it was messy. So my mom goes to read it, and gets some odd notion its about a fairy guy in suspenders with a lazy eye... okie dokie. Don't ask me. CRAZY PEOPLE! HEHE.
Modified Faces
The hamster put my face on Gollum (from lord of the rings he is a slimly little goblinoid creature) with a program on the computer. So, I decided to retaliate. I thought what could make him say AHHHHH GROSS!? So I think get a fat man in a thong with his face on it! HAHA. So I do a search on yahoo. DON'T EVER SEARCH FOR FAT MEN IN THONGS ON THE INTERNET! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IN THE WORDS OF A WISE SQUIRREL: "SICK AND WRONG" "SICK AND WRONG" "SICK AND WROOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG"!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The hamster put my face on Gollum (from lord of the rings he is a slimly little goblinoid creature) with a program on the computer. So, I decided to retaliate. I thought what could make him say AHHHHH GROSS!? So I think get a fat man in a thong with his face on it! HAHA. So I do a search on yahoo. DON'T EVER SEARCH FOR FAT MEN IN THONGS ON THE INTERNET! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IN THE WORDS OF A WISE SQUIRREL: "SICK AND WRONG" "SICK AND WRONG" "SICK AND WROOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG"!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1/05/2004
TV and Video Games.
I am gonna sort of be going into a tad of a rant here. So be warned. Anyway, I love video games, and movies. In fact, I used to be insane about them. My whole life was playing computer games or when I was in school mostly thinking about playing them. Yes, major nerd material, but whatever. I have to admit I wasn't that smart back then,(middle school) but I was always different, and had my own way of thinking. Anyhow, I began to read, and yes, I got smarter, but anyway. I think playing video games or watching TV so much isn't healthy. Maybe 0-3 hours or something after school, but like solid for 6 hours, or every moment of your free time can't be good. I dunno. It seems like there is so much in the world so many interesting things, and chances to experience new stuff, that kind of thing is just a very small portion, yet it totally can control your life. I am not saying that it is bad to play them a lot, but just sometimes people need to get out and be with other people and do stuff. That environment is much more conducive to learning, (or having major good times with cool friends) then TV or video games are. I am not really talking to the majority of people probably more like the hardcore gamer or coach potato. I used to be the hardcore gamer yes. All of my life was that. But ya that was a long time ago, but now I look back, and yes it was fun, but I think I really missed out on some great memories I could have been making with some real people. I am not really saying throw away your TV or anything, just take some time to smell the roses in life. You know go outside and take a walk. *Unless its like 20 below outside like now, and you wish you lived in California or a similar steamy location, on a warm beach, and had a squirrel by your side* Just take some time to explore the other things in life you know sometimes. Anyhow didn't mean to offend someone, or preach or give orders, just my viewpoints and suggestions.
I am gonna sort of be going into a tad of a rant here. So be warned. Anyway, I love video games, and movies. In fact, I used to be insane about them. My whole life was playing computer games or when I was in school mostly thinking about playing them. Yes, major nerd material, but whatever. I have to admit I wasn't that smart back then,(middle school) but I was always different, and had my own way of thinking. Anyhow, I began to read, and yes, I got smarter, but anyway. I think playing video games or watching TV so much isn't healthy. Maybe 0-3 hours or something after school, but like solid for 6 hours, or every moment of your free time can't be good. I dunno. It seems like there is so much in the world so many interesting things, and chances to experience new stuff, that kind of thing is just a very small portion, yet it totally can control your life. I am not saying that it is bad to play them a lot, but just sometimes people need to get out and be with other people and do stuff. That environment is much more conducive to learning, (or having major good times with cool friends) then TV or video games are. I am not really talking to the majority of people probably more like the hardcore gamer or coach potato. I used to be the hardcore gamer yes. All of my life was that. But ya that was a long time ago, but now I look back, and yes it was fun, but I think I really missed out on some great memories I could have been making with some real people. I am not really saying throw away your TV or anything, just take some time to smell the roses in life. You know go outside and take a walk. *Unless its like 20 below outside like now, and you wish you lived in California or a similar steamy location, on a warm beach, and had a squirrel by your side* Just take some time to explore the other things in life you know sometimes. Anyhow didn't mean to offend someone, or preach or give orders, just my viewpoints and suggestions.
1/04/2004
That little voice....
First of yes I am crazy, but probably not need to be committed yet.. haha (up for debate at school probably) Anyway. There is a little voice in my head. No not like that I don't really hear voices. It's like the voice everyone has. The one that always tells you your not good enough. Your inner critic you know. Im to fat, I can't sing, I can't be myself I'm not good enough, it constantly puts you down, I am ugly, I can't do that. I can't follow my dreams, I just am not material for that. I can't do that job because whatever, ETC. Anyway everyone has this little nasty voice I think. See this voice and I used to have battles constantly. Not actuallybattles because he used to rule my life. It saps your self esteem, and just mires you down in a puddle of almost self loathing, and it don't let you livethe life you want to in some cases anyway. I used to be an extreme case. Let me tell you I used to be shy because of fear of you know pain, rejection, blah blah. Then when I didn't do what I longed to do I would put myself down. When you have no self esteem people tend to see that, and make it worse by being evil to you. However, this nasty little voice was slowly going away. SLOWLY. Painfully slow. Just last year finally I got some courage and daring, very little, but some. With that came self worth. (slowly and little, but progress) Then I got more when I became friends with Darci, but the nasty little voice is still there. However I didn't always listen. Then finally the veil was removed by a sqirrel who taught me 2 fly... I TALK BOUT SQIRRELS ALOT!!! I LOVE EM! and now im free, but anyhow I say that alot on my site, but its true. I hardly ever listen to that nasty little voice anymore. I feel I can do anything, and I am worth it. When you stop listening to that little demon, doors open, many, and you are truly happier, because you are not afraid to try new things, and take action in your life. So if you want to get rid of that nasty voice its a long road, but you can start to just listen to yourself. Listen to all the nasty little things you say that put urself down, and say no I am better then that. Don't be so harsh on yourself. Think of your friends when they are being imbeciles. They might say to you MAN I AM STUPID! But really you didn't think to much of it and didn't mind. People are really NOT as harsh as you think they are. Relax be yourself, and love urself. There are some bad people in the world yes, but I think the majority will respect you hopefully. If not I say turn away from them fore they are not who you want to be with. Choose your friends wisely. Popular people are alot of times shallow, and probably not people you wanna be with.(not all) Like the "IN" crowd. Create your own crowd. That are true to yourselves and you will find strength in your true friends. Kinda got side tracked from my main point but that one is good to so ya. IM OTTA HERE GOTTA CATCH SOME OF THOSE ELUSIVE ZZZZZZZZZZZZs. Squirrels steals my zzz, but i'd rather not sleep anyway cause I love chasing squirrels! HAHA!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
First of yes I am crazy, but probably not need to be committed yet.. haha (up for debate at school probably) Anyway. There is a little voice in my head. No not like that I don't really hear voices. It's like the voice everyone has. The one that always tells you your not good enough. Your inner critic you know. Im to fat, I can't sing, I can't be myself I'm not good enough, it constantly puts you down, I am ugly, I can't do that. I can't follow my dreams, I just am not material for that. I can't do that job because whatever, ETC. Anyway everyone has this little nasty voice I think. See this voice and I used to have battles constantly. Not actuallybattles because he used to rule my life. It saps your self esteem, and just mires you down in a puddle of almost self loathing, and it don't let you livethe life you want to in some cases anyway. I used to be an extreme case. Let me tell you I used to be shy because of fear of you know pain, rejection, blah blah. Then when I didn't do what I longed to do I would put myself down. When you have no self esteem people tend to see that, and make it worse by being evil to you. However, this nasty little voice was slowly going away. SLOWLY. Painfully slow. Just last year finally I got some courage and daring, very little, but some. With that came self worth. (slowly and little, but progress) Then I got more when I became friends with Darci, but the nasty little voice is still there. However I didn't always listen. Then finally the veil was removed by a sqirrel who taught me 2 fly... I TALK BOUT SQIRRELS ALOT!!! I LOVE EM! and now im free, but anyhow I say that alot on my site, but its true. I hardly ever listen to that nasty little voice anymore. I feel I can do anything, and I am worth it. When you stop listening to that little demon, doors open, many, and you are truly happier, because you are not afraid to try new things, and take action in your life. So if you want to get rid of that nasty voice its a long road, but you can start to just listen to yourself. Listen to all the nasty little things you say that put urself down, and say no I am better then that. Don't be so harsh on yourself. Think of your friends when they are being imbeciles. They might say to you MAN I AM STUPID! But really you didn't think to much of it and didn't mind. People are really NOT as harsh as you think they are. Relax be yourself, and love urself. There are some bad people in the world yes, but I think the majority will respect you hopefully. If not I say turn away from them fore they are not who you want to be with. Choose your friends wisely. Popular people are alot of times shallow, and probably not people you wanna be with.(not all) Like the "IN" crowd. Create your own crowd. That are true to yourselves and you will find strength in your true friends. Kinda got side tracked from my main point but that one is good to so ya. IM OTTA HERE GOTTA CATCH SOME OF THOSE ELUSIVE ZZZZZZZZZZZZs. Squirrels steals my zzz, but i'd rather not sleep anyway cause I love chasing squirrels! HAHA!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1/02/2004
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