I realize now, by stumbling upon a poem (I believe by divine providence), that I was going about this situation all wrong. Of course I was hurt, and dont blame myself for that. But I guess I needed to stop feeling like a victim. I was hurting, but I guess I need to stop making her feel sorry for me, I need to help my baby deal with this, even if it doesnt turn out that I am the one. I was struggling against reality, trying to bend it to my will, and stay with the one I love, but what she really needs is for me to hold on loosley, and let her decide for herself what is right. God has a plan, and I put faith in him, and her. If something is meant to be, then it will surely happen, and if it isnt, then I had an incredible time while it lasted, and am thankful for that.
If I could offer some advice, don't follow your head, or logic. Follow your heart, and if you do, then it will work out eventually. Do what you FEEL is best, NOT what your brain thinks is easiest. What will make you happiest, and is best for you. Even if that doesn't include me.
I am not letting go, or saying I dont want you. ON THE CONTRARY, NOTHING WOULD MAKE ME HAPPIER, then to be your one and only, and I wish it every day, but I want you to be happy. I promise that I will move mountains for you, and love you for always and forever. No matter what.
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