Viva Las Vegas Baby!
Did you hear the news over the weekend? I'm sure everyone did by now... Probably some obscure russian outpost didnt hear it tho...
Alexi: Ваш, что человек(мужчина), который женил�� к �тому �импатичные четырнадцать лет!
Translation: Hey I know you...your that dude who got married to that drop dead gorgeous fourteen year old girl this weekend!
Guess even poor Alexi from antarctica heard... oh well.
Apparently leaving school with your girlfriend friday then mysteriously dissapearing till the wee hours of the morning, (whys everone know that?! nothing happened except I got sick on stuffed crust pizza... that was before the china food got me sick 2 days later haha!) then being sick on monday (we were both sick that day)
That constitutes eloping, and getting hitched. Oh well guess when we leave together this friday she'll be pregnat... oh wait I guess another rumor said we married cause she already was.. HAHA what messed up people we have to put up with day in and day out! Next who knows tammy and I are actually spys from mars who implanted on earth to learn your twisted ways, then use our powers of rumor to spread gossip that everyone at hamlin highschool is infected with crabs! Creating a wide spread breakdown of midwest society, and panic everywhere. Without your Whole Grain ceral you shall all succumb to malnutrition and be taken over by vegatarians and sacraficed to the cow gods for food! HAHA WE shall rule your puny rock and infest it with the mushrooms from the dragon wall, and trap you in cleverly built cages of chop sticks! Now to my evil labratory to watch the hamster spin in its wheel! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
1/27/2004
1/26/2004
The Logic of Hamlin High School
HAHA! Finally got to this post. Anyway It seems to me schools have no logic. Do they even think about what they do? For instance...
Teacher: "Gee class lets read a book!"
Class: "Groaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!"
Teacher: "Oh hush. This is a classic you will all love it! Its called "All quiet on the Western front."
Boy 1: "Isn't that the book where it takes 30 pages for the author to tell everyone their food sucks?... I would rather watch the lint in the air fly around for six hours!"
This is just one example. They hardly ever have interesting books that kids would actually enjoy reading. I used to hate reading because I thought all books were as ridiculous as the ones we read in school. No wonder people are revolted by books. Then I stumbled upon a book in a used bookstore with a dragon on it (mom always liked to read so we went there alot). It was called "The Gates of Thorabardin." A fantasy book yes. It was the best thing ever though. Ever since I read books constantly. Therefore, instead of making kids want to read they turn them away from books, and I only started to read on accident. I didn't know books were cool.
Next... the food rule. No pop or candy. Why pray tell? Can't 16 and 17 year olds figure out how to chew? We had food in school before and it didn't hurt anybody so what’s the problem? If anything, we should ban the school food! Is it healthy to eat things from 5 years ago? Or mysteriously have beans in different forms three days in a row? Their food tastes like flavored cardboard... or in some cases noodles with cheese colored water? Riiiiiiiight! Did I mention the cottage cheese is usually rotten 90% of the time? Or the fruits and vegetables that are obviously to old because they are mushy! How repulsive! Some of us may act like barbarians, but we don't need to be fed our
neighbors dogs! Close enough to it! Disgusting.
Also where are the high school privileges?! Not to mention the senior ones? Lets see, the previous classes with Mr. Cambel got their privileges when they did community service and signed a contract. The piece of paper didn’t strangely vanish either. Sneider you FAG. Course even if we had privileges what would we do? We don’t have a lounge. Before they had a room of their own, with couches, chairs, video games, TV, VCR, etc. Sure some of his brown nosers favorites may have theirs, but even they had to wait for half the year to even leave, but where would they go? The only thing seniors can do is budge the little kids in line. Why so we can get food poisoning sooner haha sweet!
Another thing just about school in general is that it is to long. I am sure we could delete an entire period, and shorten all periods to 30 minutes. Mostly we tend to get the gist of what the teacher means in less then 15 minutes (unless it is Mr. Aho’s class) Plus delete advisory, because that’s just like your average kindergarten class, and we all graduated that with flying colors probably around a decade ago ok thank you very much.
Another wonderful idea we have is planners. Your portable ball and chain wow! Filled with pointless junk. Yes I think it’s perhaps a good idea, but ONLY for the kids who want to write down their homework. The ones who don’t want to won’t. No one checks them. Also no one checks if we have a pass ever… so what’s the point? Just another piece of crap to carry.
One more things… the people rules are designed to protect will follow them, and the ones the rules are designed to stop will find a way around them… Point being?
Maybe Sneider just hates everyone so he wants to treat us like lower life forms for his sadistic pleasure. I am not mad… I just feel like DUH! What psychosis some of these “learned� people have. I am sure someone could find a brain and try to use it and design a place that you can learn, and actually have FUN doing it. They may advertise that, and maybe the teachers have fun, but the kids don’t have fun doing things that are so dry a camel wouldn’t even venture near! HAHA I’m otta here.
HAHA! Finally got to this post. Anyway It seems to me schools have no logic. Do they even think about what they do? For instance...
Teacher: "Gee class lets read a book!"
Class: "Groaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!"
Teacher: "Oh hush. This is a classic you will all love it! Its called "All quiet on the Western front."
Boy 1: "Isn't that the book where it takes 30 pages for the author to tell everyone their food sucks?... I would rather watch the lint in the air fly around for six hours!"
This is just one example. They hardly ever have interesting books that kids would actually enjoy reading. I used to hate reading because I thought all books were as ridiculous as the ones we read in school. No wonder people are revolted by books. Then I stumbled upon a book in a used bookstore with a dragon on it (mom always liked to read so we went there alot). It was called "The Gates of Thorabardin." A fantasy book yes. It was the best thing ever though. Ever since I read books constantly. Therefore, instead of making kids want to read they turn them away from books, and I only started to read on accident. I didn't know books were cool.
Next... the food rule. No pop or candy. Why pray tell? Can't 16 and 17 year olds figure out how to chew? We had food in school before and it didn't hurt anybody so what’s the problem? If anything, we should ban the school food! Is it healthy to eat things from 5 years ago? Or mysteriously have beans in different forms three days in a row? Their food tastes like flavored cardboard... or in some cases noodles with cheese colored water? Riiiiiiiight! Did I mention the cottage cheese is usually rotten 90% of the time? Or the fruits and vegetables that are obviously to old because they are mushy! How repulsive! Some of us may act like barbarians, but we don't need to be fed our
neighbors dogs! Close enough to it! Disgusting.
Also where are the high school privileges?! Not to mention the senior ones? Lets see, the previous classes with Mr. Cambel got their privileges when they did community service and signed a contract. The piece of paper didn’t strangely vanish either. Sneider you FAG. Course even if we had privileges what would we do? We don’t have a lounge. Before they had a room of their own, with couches, chairs, video games, TV, VCR, etc. Sure some of his brown nosers favorites may have theirs, but even they had to wait for half the year to even leave, but where would they go? The only thing seniors can do is budge the little kids in line. Why so we can get food poisoning sooner haha sweet!
Another thing just about school in general is that it is to long. I am sure we could delete an entire period, and shorten all periods to 30 minutes. Mostly we tend to get the gist of what the teacher means in less then 15 minutes (unless it is Mr. Aho’s class) Plus delete advisory, because that’s just like your average kindergarten class, and we all graduated that with flying colors probably around a decade ago ok thank you very much.
Another wonderful idea we have is planners. Your portable ball and chain wow! Filled with pointless junk. Yes I think it’s perhaps a good idea, but ONLY for the kids who want to write down their homework. The ones who don’t want to won’t. No one checks them. Also no one checks if we have a pass ever… so what’s the point? Just another piece of crap to carry.
One more things… the people rules are designed to protect will follow them, and the ones the rules are designed to stop will find a way around them… Point being?
Maybe Sneider just hates everyone so he wants to treat us like lower life forms for his sadistic pleasure. I am not mad… I just feel like DUH! What psychosis some of these “learned� people have. I am sure someone could find a brain and try to use it and design a place that you can learn, and actually have FUN doing it. They may advertise that, and maybe the teachers have fun, but the kids don’t have fun doing things that are so dry a camel wouldn’t even venture near! HAHA I’m otta here.
1/20/2004
Genius Ad for Car Place
I heard an add on the radio, wasn't listening to much so don't know the name or the company really, but its a car place and maybe sells tires, but anyway their slogan is
"Saddest Traction gaurenteed"
Sure they wanted to say satistraction... but really what a dumb ad isn't the purpose of advertising to make people buy your product? So if you have the saddest store in town wouldn't that be negative? Therefore people don like you? Shoo people maybe we don't want ur buisness you just keep us from walking the streets in attire thats less then socially acceptable!(No Squirrel not right now... maybe later ;-)... Who needs clothes in weather like this! Wait a minute where did that weird white crap on the ground come from! Ahh its freezing me nude flesh into a fleshicle? Ill be quiet now... HEHE!~~ LAFF~~~!
I heard an add on the radio, wasn't listening to much so don't know the name or the company really, but its a car place and maybe sells tires, but anyway their slogan is
"Saddest Traction gaurenteed"
Sure they wanted to say satistraction... but really what a dumb ad isn't the purpose of advertising to make people buy your product? So if you have the saddest store in town wouldn't that be negative? Therefore people don like you? Shoo people maybe we don't want ur buisness you just keep us from walking the streets in attire thats less then socially acceptable!(No Squirrel not right now... maybe later ;-)... Who needs clothes in weather like this! Wait a minute where did that weird white crap on the ground come from! Ahh its freezing me nude flesh into a fleshicle? Ill be quiet now... HEHE!~~ LAFF~~~!
1/19/2004
1/13/2004
"Quotes: My substitute for wit!"
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)
"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
"I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth."
- Umberto Eco
"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life."
- Frank Zappa
"It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts."
- G. B. Burgin
"A witty saying proves nothing."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)
"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough."
- Mario Andretti
"I'll sleep when I'm dead."
- Warren Zevon (1947-2003)
"While we are postponing, life speeds by."
- Seneca (3BC - 65AD)
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."
- Mel Brooks
In the end, everything is a gag."
- Charlie Chaplin (1889-1977)
"Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you."
- Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961)
"The gods too are fond of a joke."
- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)
"Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting."
- Karl Wallenda
"Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them."
- Samuel Palmer (1805-80)
That wraps it up, and yepers I am a fool, but a happy one so bite me heheheheh!
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)
"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
"I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth."
- Umberto Eco
"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life."
- Frank Zappa
"It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts."
- G. B. Burgin
"A witty saying proves nothing."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)
"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough."
- Mario Andretti
"I'll sleep when I'm dead."
- Warren Zevon (1947-2003)
"While we are postponing, life speeds by."
- Seneca (3BC - 65AD)
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."
- Mel Brooks
In the end, everything is a gag."
- Charlie Chaplin (1889-1977)
"Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you."
- Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961)
"The gods too are fond of a joke."
- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)
"Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting."
- Karl Wallenda
"Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them."
- Samuel Palmer (1805-80)
That wraps it up, and yepers I am a fool, but a happy one so bite me heheheheh!
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