5/05/2006
The Walmart Poopy Hand Conspiracy
There is a giant conspiracy at walmart to save water, by encouraging you not to wash your hands. See the faucets only work for like half a second then you have to wait for ever just to get another half a second of water. It actually takes probably at least 5 minutes to get clean hands. So people are very pressed for time and the few who actually do wash their hands are less inclined so. So there you have it. The walmart poopy hand conspiracy revealed. They save lots of water in exchange for your poopy hands! I must go by revealing this sensitive information government assasins may be trying to kill me AS I WRITE THIS! Ohh its an old person. "Hello there old man!" ..."AHH ITS A WALMART ASSASIN WHO KNOWS KUNG FU!" running away!....
5/03/2006
Fight Club Quotes
Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we HATE so we can buy SHIT we don't need.
"If you don't know what you want," the doorman said, "you end up with a lot you don't." ~Chapter 5
...you're not how much money you've got in the bank. You're not your job. You're not your family, and you're not who you tell yourself.... You're not your name.... You're not your problems.... You're not your age.... You are not your hopes. ~Chapter 18
I see the strongest and the smartest men who have ever lived... and these men are pumping gas and waiting tables. ~Chapter 19
The things you own end up owning you. It's only after you lose everything that you're free to do anything.
We're the middle children of history.... no purpose or place. We have no Great War, no Great Depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression... IS OUR LIVES!
No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.
"If you don't know what you want," the doorman said, "you end up with a lot you don't." ~Chapter 5
...you're not how much money you've got in the bank. You're not your job. You're not your family, and you're not who you tell yourself.... You're not your name.... You're not your problems.... You're not your age.... You are not your hopes. ~Chapter 18
I see the strongest and the smartest men who have ever lived... and these men are pumping gas and waiting tables. ~Chapter 19
The things you own end up owning you. It's only after you lose everything that you're free to do anything.
We're the middle children of history.... no purpose or place. We have no Great War, no Great Depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression... IS OUR LIVES!
No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.
4/20/2006
What is a Camaro?
Historical examples exist of Chevrolet product managers being asked by the automotive press "what is a Camaro?", with the tongue-in-cheek answer being "a small, vicious animal that eats Mustangs. HAHAHA!!!!!
3/06/2006
Right on Mike Rounds!
Apparently decency and morals still live in the United States!
S.D. Governor Signs Abortion Ban Into Law
PIERRE, S.D. - Gov. Mike Rounds signed legislation Monday banning nearly all abortions in South Dakota, setting up a court fight aimed at challenging the 1973 U.S. Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion. The bill would make it a crime for doctors to perform an abortion unless the procedure was necessary to save the woman's life. It would make no exception for cases of rape or incest.
http://news.yahoo.com/fc/US/Abortion_Rights_Debate
Whoever the fool(s) was to legalize murder in 73 should have been sent to jail.
Good 1 Evil 0.
S.D. Governor Signs Abortion Ban Into Law
PIERRE, S.D. - Gov. Mike Rounds signed legislation Monday banning nearly all abortions in South Dakota, setting up a court fight aimed at challenging the 1973 U.S. Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion. The bill would make it a crime for doctors to perform an abortion unless the procedure was necessary to save the woman's life. It would make no exception for cases of rape or incest.
http://news.yahoo.com/fc/US/Abortion_Rights_Debate
Whoever the fool(s) was to legalize murder in 73 should have been sent to jail.
Good 1 Evil 0.
8/26/2005
True Story of the Smoking Chimp
XI'AN, China - The handlers of a smoking chimpanzee in a zoo in northwest China are trying to get her to kick the habit.
The 26-year-old female chimpanzee has been smoking for 15 years. Her mate died recently, which caused her to smoke even more.
Now, the chimp's keepers are worried about her health as a result of her intense smoking. So, they're trying to give her milk instead of cigarettes.
She started smoking years ago by picking up butts from tourists.
The 26-year-old female chimpanzee has been smoking for 15 years. Her mate died recently, which caused her to smoke even more.
Now, the chimp's keepers are worried about her health as a result of her intense smoking. So, they're trying to give her milk instead of cigarettes.
She started smoking years ago by picking up butts from tourists.
8/09/2005
I Want a Girl Who Drives a 70's Muscle Car
Note:
If I could be anywhere right now, I would be sitting on the hood of a parked 70's muscle car, with a cute girl drinking beer, oh - and the car would be parked looking out from a wooded cliff, which the local kids call Make-Out Point, and we would be able to see the whole city below, and nobody would bother us in the gathering dusk, while we are proving why, in fact, they call it - Make-Out Point.
Note: Actual quote from the description of a book... lol sounds like my kind of book!
Btw watched the dukes of hazzard movie tonight, i dont care what the critics say it was a fricken awesome movie! They even had dudes from super troopers doing lines from it that was the fricken bomb! Lol. Not really true to the old series, but good for dudes that are like my age. I had to buy the cd and it aint bad. I definetly will get the movie. I tried to race a trans am after the movie, but he decided he didnt want to race me, although before this a babe in a impala or something raced me and i smoked her without even trying. hehe. Good times.
If I could be anywhere right now, I would be sitting on the hood of a parked 70's muscle car, with a cute girl drinking beer, oh - and the car would be parked looking out from a wooded cliff, which the local kids call Make-Out Point, and we would be able to see the whole city below, and nobody would bother us in the gathering dusk, while we are proving why, in fact, they call it - Make-Out Point.
Note: Actual quote from the description of a book... lol sounds like my kind of book!
Btw watched the dukes of hazzard movie tonight, i dont care what the critics say it was a fricken awesome movie! They even had dudes from super troopers doing lines from it that was the fricken bomb! Lol. Not really true to the old series, but good for dudes that are like my age. I had to buy the cd and it aint bad. I definetly will get the movie. I tried to race a trans am after the movie, but he decided he didnt want to race me, although before this a babe in a impala or something raced me and i smoked her without even trying. hehe. Good times.
8/07/2005
Funny Quote from a Website
"The purpose of this brief study is to offer a logical, practical, pragmatic proof of the existence of God from a purely scientific perspective. To do this, we are assuming that we exist, that there is reality, and that the matter of which we are made is real. If you do not believe that you exist, you have bigger problems than this study will entail and you will have to look elsewhere."
from http://www.doesgodexist.org/
from http://www.doesgodexist.org/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)