Hello and welcome to my rant session. Todays preachiness will be directed at a topic that annoys me a little bit, but perhaps my annoyance is just misunderstanding, but I want to make my views on this subject clear.
Some one said they dont want to change, or their partner to change for the, and they are both should be their self. Now thats fine. But someone times I believe you should change in a relationship. Its called compromise. This doesnt mean you are selling yourself, it just means that if one partner finds something one is doing offensive, sometimes its not bad to change your habits. As in going to a strip club while the other partner doesnt want you to. I was just thinking about this, and the more I did the more, I was objective to the idea. Roy said there was this one wife who was happy when her hubby went to the strip club because he was then turned on for her when he got home... well guess what he was NOT turned on for her, I bet you he was fantasising about those slutty exotic dancer while they made love. Im not ranting at you know who specifically, just the practice in general. I dont think its a good thing to do really, because that makes your significant other feel like you dont find her attractive, and this is a perfect place to compromise. I have always promoted communication, and I think its always a good idea to talk about it. I guess I dont find porn and strip clubs bad for single people as long as that isnt taking the place of a real relationship. But if you are looking at other woman, on purpose to get turned on by them isnt that a little bit like cheating?
The whole point is sometimes change and compromise in a relationship is necessary, and it doesnt mean your selling yourself. Sometimes you even can adopt the views of the other partner, if you agree with them. But I felt a little like some people believed that I changed myself for Tammy, maybe I did change myself a little bit, but change isnt bad as long as I am not selling myself, and doing things that I feel are wrong. Sometimes its necessary, or a relationship cant work.
Say for instance sometimes one parnter wants to do something with their friends one day, alone. The other partner should empathize with them, and realize that sometimes their partner needs some time with their friends alone. If they cant feel how their partner is feeling, and accept that, and try to compromise with them can they truly care about the other one... or do they simple care about what their partner is providing them with?
I probably could use a disclamer, but I am sure nobody would listen to it, so I just want to say this is how I feel, and you should not get angry with me for what I think. Sometimes is not wrong to change how you think, and if people provided me with evidence on how I was wrong I probably would change. But anyway enuf babbling for now.
See ya on the flip side. hehe =)
1 comment:
just in case this post was directed at me, i just wanted to say that when daniel called when i was with you and crystal the other day, i WANTED to go be with him. even ask crystal...when i got to her house, i was all down because i went to go see daniel and found out he was at work. i told her that all i wanted to do was see him because i was missing him so bad.
also, he has learned the art of compromise. he says i can be with my friends, but also i have to understand that his life is very different from mine. i am still a student, and i only have a part-time job, and i have an active socail life. he is a full-fledged adult who works hard all day, his friends are married and have families, and all he wants to do is come home to his "wife" after work. i understand where he's comming from. yes, i do get upset when he gets upset about it, and i feel like he's being too demanding, but thats only because he has a bad way of getting things accross some times...it usually upsets me initially and then i think about the message and feelings behind it later.
oh and dont worry about the disclaimer bit...i listen to it without it being there. :)
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