Beer is made by fermentation caused by bacteria feeding on yeast cells and then defecating. In other words, it's a nice tall glass of bacteria's shit.
How many times have you been in this situation, where your friends have just got to tell you about a banging party they were at last night.
"OHH yeah, I got like totally sloshed man it was like... you know... soooooo totally awesome... Wanna hear about it?"
"Well not really...
"Ok COOL! Well lets see... I had like 2 glasses bacadi, a can of miller light, some vodka, a few wine coolers, a little Tequila, bottle of bud.... and some buffalo piss...?
If you heard their sensless drivel once you've heard it a thousand times. So why not change it in your head to something fun like.
"Oh ya I had some battery acid, a shot of cyanide, a bottle of bat shit, a can of rodioactive uranium, semen from a horney bull elephant... etc."
Then you can honestly say
"Sounds like fun..." while you uncontrollably giggle in your head
"Thats word right there man!"
"Umm sure dude, whatever."
8/03/2004
Twighlight Zone
Well I heard my new Alarm Clock go off that tammy gave me. I was still tired, and I was trying to turn it off. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off, although I thought I had known. I tried everything every button at least 3 times, and I was getting frustrated big time! Finally I woke up. Gosh I was dreaming, except the dream was as real as reality, and the only way to know it was not a dream was that I woke up. Weird. Then I turned it off for real. But I slept for like 5 minutes while it went off. Trying to stop it from beeping. It was pretty funny after I figured it out. WEIRD. *Twighlight Zone Theme Song*
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